Ebbing Away in Silence
by Momoiro Usagi
Summary: Rose's life is constantly changing, never giving her a chance to rebuild. RosexWinry


The water ebbed away at the sand in long, heavy strokes: taking away, and bringing back. Like the passing of time, it drew each grain out into the unknown, tossing it away and replacing it, cleansing the beach with each fading moment.

When Rose looked to the water, she saw eternity. Stretching out towards the sweeping sky, stretching over miles and miles of uncharted territory. She could almost imagine the seconds of her life drifting away like the sand; she could almost feel her losses swelling around her and then disappearing as the salty wind kicked up around her auburn tresses. They receded into the unknown, her memories flying up into the cloudless air.

Staring at the horizon, she couldn't help but imagine the world beyond the gentle curve of the earth's surface. Was Cain out there somewhere? Was Edward reaching out across the waves, wondering how to retrace his steps and find her once again? And what about the woman who had tried to steal her body: was she thinking about her, too? No. Rose accepted that they had passed beyond her world forever; no matter how loud she yelled or how hard she prayed, they would never return. She accepted that, but that didn't make it any less painful.

"Mommy, Mommy," a grubby hand closed around the hem of her skirt, giving an experimental tug, leaving a trail of salt water across the gauzy fabric. "Can Winry come play? Please?"

Looking back towards her friend, she let a soft smile grace her features, scooping up the little boy into her arms. "You'll have to ask her," his chubby little body felt warm against her chest, squirming like a kitten anxious for a fresh plate of milk. She loved holding him. Clinging to him. He was born out of painful memories, and yet, when he smiled against her shoulder or came to cuddle up next to her during the night, she could almost forget the way the rocky ground had dug into her back under the soldiers' vicious thrusts. When he trailed innocent kisses across her cheek, he almost seemed to strip away the shadows of her past. Almost.

She knew she was redeemed, but sometimes she still felt dirty.

"Hey, are you OK?" A calloused hand brushed against her shoulder; the contact caused her to jump backwards in surprise. She tightened her hold on the child, clutching him as she caught her breath. She was not used to being touched. She knew she had nothing to fear, but sometimes she was still unsure. Sometimes she felt the ghosts of her past revisiting her in even the slightest caress.

"I'm fine," Rose's whisper disappeared under the cracking of the waves. She didn't dare meet the other girl's gaze. She couldn't trouble her friend any more than she already had. They should have been rivals, and yet Winry had done everything she could to make Rose feel at home. She owed it to her to keep smiling. She owed it to her child, and to everyone who had reached out to help her when she needed it most. She knew that, but still, sometimes those smiles felt so empty.

"It's just," stuttering, Rose slid her toes across the sand, enjoying the grainy feel against her feet. The texture was foreign and unique, so much softer than the scorching red dirt that had once trailed out under her bare-footed steps. So much purer than the bloodstained floor of the prison she had once called home. "It's just, I've never seen the beach before. I used to read about it in books, but," she shook her head, a sheepish blush budding on her cooper skin, "it's just so hard to believe I'm actually here."

Winry's eyes lit up; her lips widened, revealing a row of sparkling teeth to the summer sun. "This is your first time?" Taking the child from Rose's arms, she bustled over to a pile of beat-up towels, using her free hand to scoop up a wad of purple terry cloth. "You never told me! And here I thought I was only doing this for the baby's sake!" Nuzzling the little boy, Winry nodded towards the water with a suspicious grin. "You _do_ know how to swim, right?"

"Well…"

"That's OK! There are plenty of other things we can do."

Winry's world always seemed so bright. Even though the regrets burning behind her azure gaze were unmistakable, her face never stopped shining. Winry was a ball of energy: always laughing and joking even when Rose barely had the strength to keep her head held up high. She admired that, more than anything else in the world. Even while experiencing great loss, Winry managed to rebuild stronger and stronger every day, renewing herself over and over again. And Rose could barely manage a weak smile. A few kind words here and there.

She could barely manage to keep her arms from trembling as she brushed the other girl's wrist.

"Would you mind playing by yourself a little longer?" Two rosebud lips pressed against the little boy's cheek; Winry flashed one last dazzling smile before setting him down onto the sand. Rose's gaze followed every movement, tracing over the gentle curves of her silhouette, watching as she spread her towel out across the sand. "That is, if your mom doesn't mind."

"Just be careful," Rose whispered, nodding softly before returning her gaze to her blonde companion. "We'll be staying close by, right?"

"Sure. We can stay right here, if you want."

Winry's voice dripped with ease: it reached out to Rose with gentle fingers, tickling her copper flesh like the salty air. Reminding Rose of why she had come to this girl to begin with. Of their first meeting under the summer sky and of desperation she had sensed in their first embrace. Winry was willing to give, and for once in her life, Rose was ready to receive.

It had been like that for months. Every moment, every accidental touch, seemed to carry infinite meaning. There were words neither dared to utter, but even in silence the truth hovered over them, dictating their every movement. Even though neither woman dared mention the reason they were bound together, he was there in each passing thought, with every breath they took. He was there in every gesture and smile.

"We used to come here all the time as children," chuckling to herself, Winry smoothed over the corners of the towel, stretching out her ivory legs across its violet surface. Taking a seat next to her, Rose tensed her shoulders, suddenly growing uneasy at even the gentlest hint of his memory.

"Al used to be so afraid of sharks. He wouldn't even go near the shore! Their poor mother worried about him so much." Rose watched Winry's smile; she looked so strained even though her words seemed to pour out without hesitation. It was an act Winry was so fond of, and yet, it was effective. "Of course, one day Ed decided enough was enough, and pushed Al into the water. It was quite a sight, to see him thrashing and crying and trying to drown Ed all at once! Grandma had to pull them apart and drag them all the way back to the train station! Oh, Ed got quite a spanking when we got home."

There were some things Rose would have preferred to ignore, and some things she would have rather forgotten. However, Ed was different. She cherished the memory of every second spent in his presence; she reveled in the recollections of his clumsy touch and his hurried, blushing grins. His image burned in her mind like the summer sun; one happy glimpse at how life should have been for her: a candle soon extinguished by the winds of time.

But that still didn't make it any harder to talk about. That still didn't make her feelings any easier to express. The echo of their feet tapping out across the dance floor was etched in the depths of her body, like her swan song ringing forever in her ears. A part of her had died that day, and no matter how loud she yelled or how hard she prayed, she would never bring it back.

She had spent so many months in silence, pushing all of it away as she clambered for some sort of security in a world she had long tried to abandon. But now all her attempts seemed worthless.

Now the dam was broken; now Rose struggled to hold back tears. "It must've been nice," she sighed, her halted breath rippling on her lips, "to be so close to them."

"Yeah, it was."

Once again, they receded into speechlessness, each woman returning to her own thoughts as they stared out together across infinity. The child's laughter filled the gap between them; his splashing sufficed for all the words they couldn't string together themselves. But it was enough somehow.

An arm fell over Rose's exposed shoulder; delicate golden locks tickled her cheek as the other girl inched closer. Like tiny droplets of rain streaking her face, soothing away the strain of years made of nothing but loss and regret. "I have to go back to Lior soon," she whispered: a statement cloaked in her own hesitation. "The new government has promised to rebuild everything."

"I'm glad to hear that," she felt Winry's lips break into a smile against her cheek; she sensed each word murmured unconvincingly into the embrace. "You'll finally be able to go back home."

"Yeah, I guess so."

They held each other for a moment; Rose savored the heat of caring fingers against her skin. But each touch was fleeting, swelling for a moment before disappearing down under the waves. The girls would soon go their separate ways: Winry to her workshop, and Rose to the desert she had once fought so hard to save. The distance between them would grow and grow until neither could hope to see the other beyond their own respective horizons.

But that was the story of Rose's life. The waves took away, but never gave her the chance to rebuild.


End file.
